If Only, If Only
by Seiren no Kaze
Summary: We all know that some dreams can not come true. But knowing that does not make us want them any the less.. Short ZxY Oneshot.


AN: Eh, blame the plot bunny for this one. First attempt at VK fanfiction…Not too many spoilers…just for volume one, I guess. Parts of two. Blah.

Disclaimer: Vampire Knight, and all related settings and characters belong to Matsuri Hino (-cough-exceptforzero-cough-). The story, though is mine. Along with Zero. Okay, okay. Hino owns him too.

Yuuki snuggled back into the warmth at her back, smiling gently as the soft firelight played at her features, bringing out rich rubies and mahoganies in her hair and warming her complexion. Her gaze was fixed on the pages of the book at hand, bur her mind was more absorbed in the person sitting on the couch with her, and she knew that she had read the same line at least ten times, and also knew that she had no idea what it said.

Finally giving up on reading, Yuuki gave a soft sigh, and unceremoniously plopped the volume onto the coffee table in front of the couch, it's red leather cover settling against the cherry wood, both burnished by the flickering light.

"What's wrong?" the man next to her asked as she settled back against his side, as he put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his chest.

"Nothing…I'm just having trouble concentrating, Zero." She said, leaning her head against him and closing her eyes.

She knew he was smiling as he brought his chin to rest on top of her head, and shifted his position again so that both his arms were wrapped around her frame.

Yuuki reflected at how much different Zero was when they were alone. The surly, anti-social teenager that she had known in her childhood wasn't gone, but when he was with her, Zero wasn't afraid to take off that mask that was the pain and coldness his life had been so filled with. In reality, he really was…warm.

From time to time she wondered what he would have been like without the tragedy in his past, but her musings never did get far. It was hard to imagine Zero like that…

And they were so comfortable the way things were, content with each other. Nothing else was needed. No words, only the cheery crackling of the logs in the fireplace as they countered the sleepy rain that fell against the windows.

In a way, it was perfect…

His hands came to a rest on her stomach, fingers set lightly on the gentle swell, and she knew that he smiled again, an expression that was once so rare, when he felt his unborn son kick.

In a way, it was more than perfect.

Yuuki brought her hand up to grasp his, gently fingering the solver ring she had given him at their wedding…and looked forward to their first anniversary, a month away as of that day.

Ichiru would probably be born around the same time. Both had thought the name of Zero's twin would be perfect, since Ichiru the first had been discovered, dead, around the time that Yuuki became pregnant, as if it were a sign. She was sure that the prospect of being a father would ease the pain resulting from the loss of his brother, and she had been right.

She smiled again, and looked into the future. There would be a baby shower, and all her friends from their Cross Academy days would be invited, Sayori and the Chairman and—

Sixteen-year-old Kurosu Yuuki awoke with a start, her face still buried in her pillow, which remained sodden from her own tears. Her sleep pattern had been horrible the last few days, and she was tired…so tired.

She thought about that dream…the same one she had been having since…trying not to think of it, she closed her eyes so tightly that her head throbbed with the intensity of it.

Truth was, Yuuki would never be able to experience what had happened in her dream. She would never be able to open Zero's heart to her, and understand who he really was. She wouldn't be able to kiss him, or see him, or be around him….never again. Never, never again…

As the horribly familiar statement wormed its way into Yuuki's heart again, more tears leaked out of her eyes, defying the fact that they were so tightly closed.

Images of that heart and soul wrenching night a week ago managed to flash back through her mind, sickening, horrifying, and saddening her all in one twisted emotion.

Zero…his face and neck smeared with blood, the crimson drying in that soft iron-silver hair of his, staining his clothes. His eyes were a terrible crimson, no trace or the familiar amethyst-grey she knew so well.

Zero…he came toward her, deadly intent showing plainly in that demonic gaze, the one that did not recognize her, even for a split second.

Zero…the scene replayed in slow motion. With a sob, Yuuki had pulled the trigger, one of the enchanted bullets lodging itself in Zero's chest as he stumbled backwards, dangerously close to the edge of the roof, and fell, three stories below, onto hard concrete.

By the time Yuuki had reached him, he had already left…leaving only a blood-soaked shell.

And it was as she held what was left of him there calling his name over and over, that Yuuki came to terms with the fact that had been right in front of her for so long, that she had been too stupid to see…that she hadn't been able to tell him before he left. _She loved him._

But it was too late for that.

Because Zero had fallen to level E.

And Yuuki had fulfilled her promise to him.

AN: Idea was bothering the heck out of me all evening yesterday. XD I'm sorry it's so depressing…


End file.
